"Today, oh today, nothing seems to be going my way. Tryna keep my sanity, its getting the best of me today, oh today..." Today- Avery*Sunshine
Your car broke down on the high way. You lost your A ++++ paper off of your computer you've been working on for weeks! You got a run in your good tights. Your boss is being an asshole. The baby had a bad day at school/daycare. Yep, you're having one of THOSE days. If one more thing goes wrong, or if someone says one more wrong thing to you, lawd jesus help them!
Working as a substitute teacher, I have my share of these days. The two good things about bad days are they are few and far between (hopefully. If not, I will send up a quick prayer for you!), and they end. Usually when I see or sense my day starting to get a lil wonky, I will do a couple of these things:
Repeat to myself trouble don't last always
Pray/Meditate
Say to myself, "Eff (insert asshole's name here)"!
Find a quiet corner to go in and BREATHE DEEPLY
Get a sweet treat
If I'm involved with someone, get me some peen (or as I like to call it, feel good factor ;-) )
For A REALLY Crazy/Bad day, hit a happy hour or get a bottle of something
So that's my list of what I do, What do you do on those crazy/bad days?
So Today, I want to talk about something. I come from a two-parent household. My parents were married for 24 years (My father passed in 2008). Throughout my life, I was asked questions like:
Do you and your siblings have the same father?
Your Parents are STILL together?
You know your dad?
And my friends have said to me:
You don't understand or know how I feel, Your parents are together.
Now while that last statement was true, it would have me in my feelings like damn! I feel some type of way. Now don't get me wrong, I get on my knees and thank GOD for Isaac and Lucinda, but I hated that people would make me feel a way because I came from a two parent household. It seems as if single parent/divorced households are the norm nowadays. It's unfortunate that people's situation didn't work out, and one parent had to get stuck with most of the parental responsibility. Especially when it takes two people to create a child.
But back to my point... My question is, My folks who's parents are married/still together, have you ever felt the way I felt? Have your friends done this to you as well? How did you deal? Is there anything to deal with?
"Don't be scared of my aggression, Just don't get the wrong impression..." - Hoe Jhene' Aiko ft Miguel and Gucci Mane
So, I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day, and I asked a question. Is there a difference between a Ho(e) and a Freak? Is one better to be than the other? He referred me to the song above. So, I'm gonna discuss my opinions on what I think both are, and my conclusion. And, this definition is for both Males and Females (Lady Mahogany doesn't discriminate) lol.
A Ho to me is a person that continually gives up their goodies/having sex with people, and they may not even know the person's last name(or first name for that matter). A ho might be indulging in sexual activity with more than two people at one time (together or simultaneously). They may indulge in the occasional gang bang or train (do you boo!), and may not see anything wrong with that.
A Freak on the other hand to me, is a person that thoroughly enjoys sexual activities, and may like to divulge in other types of sex besides vanilla sex( vanilla sex is just plain sexual intercourse/oral sex. no licking, no biting, no extra fun. BOOOOO! ). They might be into BDSM, enjoy giving oral sex a lotta bit, or just plain like rough sex, etc.
Can a ho cross into being a freak? Can a freak be a ho? Abso-tootle-lutely! There are plenty of freaky hoes and there are times where freaks can at one time cross over to the ho territory right quick. Hey, It happens!
But ultimately, If you are a Ho(e), be a proud ho(e)! If you are a Freak, be a proud freak. Remember, you should always be proud of who and what you are. Eff judgment from people that are too afraid to be who they really are! Remember, Mind over matter, Don't mind what they say, cuz it don't matter! YOU are the one that ultimately has to live with the decisions you make in your life. As long as you are being a safe freaky ho(e), DO YOU BOO! And get yours!
What would I prefer? Me personally, I would rather be a freak than a Ho(e). Why you say? Since I'm a woman, Being a ho would change my anatomy (read: stretch my holes out wider than a crater). Men can, and usually, get away with being hoes. Why? Simple, cuz we let them! They don't get the stretched out holes (well, some do...), but they can also be frequent club members at the clinics. I also like staying out of the clinics. And, I would rather be freaky for my man, and him only.
What do you think? What is your definition of a Ho(e) and a Freak?
Its ya girl, MahoganyTene, and yes, I know, I know, I left y'all hangin' like a mug! I've been just getting my life together like I've been doing for the last 28 years. But a lotta bit has been going on in my life. But I'm really about to hit y'all with a few blog posts, cuz I've been having a lot of thoughts in this cranium (brain), and I gotta get it out. So read, comment, collaborate, correct, all that good stuff!
Peace, Love, and Happiness,
MahoganyTene
P.S. You can follow me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram to see more of my randomness S/N MahoganyTene
Its MahoganyTene here, another day, another opportunity to better yourselves right? RIGHT!
So today, I'm writing about something I do every 6 months. Every 6 months, I write a list of goals that I hope (and desperately need ) to accomplish over the next 6 months. These goals can be personal, financial, health, or something I've been wanting to do for a while. Is the list lentghly? Not really. I try to put between 6-10 items on my list. Do I accomplish everything on my goals list? Not all the time, but most of the time, I do accomplish most of my list. I try to do it at the top, middle, and end of the year, so now I'm due to create my new list of goals.
When setting goals, its important for them to be SMART:
S-Specific
M-Measurable
A-Attainable
R-Realistic
T-Time-bound
Another good thing to do is to put your list somewhere where you can see and look at them everyday. My goals list is posted on my dreamboard (that's another post for another day). I look at my goal list everyday, and it helps to keep me focused on what I wake up in the morning for, my purpose in life. I hope my post has encouraged someone out there to make a list, and check it once, or thrice (three times)!
I hope you are all having a great summer so far! If not, get out and take a walk in the park or something (with water, stay hydrated now!). It is also summer music festival season, those are always fun. I'll be hitting the clifford brown jazz festival here in Wilmington. Its free.99! But anyways, thats not the purpose of this blog. I digress.
I'm at a fork in the road in my life right now. I'm confused as all hell! Why and what am I confused about? A lot of things. I'm confused about my career, life, and love. This time last year, I was pretty focused and steadfast on what I wanted to do with my life. I was back in school, something I wanted to do for the past couple of years since getting my Bachelors Degree. I'm trying to get back into school for nursing, so I've been researching and applying for different accelerated programs over the past few months. They've all pretty much told me the same thing: oh, its uber competitive, there's a waiting list, you have a C in that class?! oh, nah, we can't take that! And as of lately, I've been feeling as sort of a failure. I'm usually the encourager of my friends, but lately, my skies have been a lil rainy and gray.
So right now, I'm trying to figure out whether I want to go back to school or do I just look for a better job. Right now, I'm a substitute teacher, but with that salary, Im just existing, barely making it. While I'm grateful and I like the job, I cannot go another year doing the same thing. I have a house value worth of student loans that I need to pay back and a family member that co-signed that I havent talked to in years because I cant afford to pay for the loans right now. So I have to do SOMETHING in these next few weeks to turn my situation around.
Also, I'm kinda sorta in a situation?! Well I guess I'm not really in one if I have to guess im in one right? lol. But anyways...when I met this person, I wasn't even looking for anyone. I was uber focused on school and bettering my life. I told myself that I wasn't going to deal with anyone where I am because I plan on getting the hell out of here as soon as the right opportunity presented itself. But as fate would have it, here I am 7 months later, not knowing what exactly what we are, we barely talk, I only see them once a month, and they're the only person I'm dealing with romantically. I feel like I'm repeating past mistakes by not saying anything. I was always afraid of chasing guys away if I was vocal about what I wanted and expected, but a closed mouth don't get fed! But when we're together, he gives me mixed messages. And I'll have soo much to ask him and to say, but when we're together, I don't say anything because I don't want to ruin the moment. All I want to be is a good woman to a good man. That seems to be too much to ask for at times...
Well, I'm about to go take a walk around a labrynth, hopefully it will help me untangle the ropes in my mind and help me to figure out my path to happiness. I'll update y'all soon!
Trying to walk the path less traveled
MahoganyTene
Yessss, that time in my life has come: the ten year high school reunion. A time when you get together with the people you went to high school with that were possibly your frienemies, and see how life has treated them so far. But now I wonder if high school reunions are even necessary with the invention of social media. I pretty much keep up with everyone I went to high school with on Facebook and other sites.
But high school for me was an awkward time. I wasn't popular, I was shy, kept to myself a lot, yet, I participated in the gospel choir and the pep squad (I can cut a rug or two!).
I was teased and bullied by girls that weren't secure in themselves, but were somehow upset that I was secure in myself. I couldn't wear or fit the latest styles, so I tried to figure out my own.
Dating?! what was that? Well, I did go out with that one guy in 10th grade that took me to his prom, but that was it. I wasn't approached by guys, and if any liked me they were too punk ass to approach me cuz of what their friends would say.
I did have some good memories of that time though. My safe haven was the library. I was in there everyday, and was a library aide for three years. Me and the librarian were really cool with each other, and she always gave ya girl first dibs on the new books ;-) . I also remember my child development and psychology classes, and the crazy ass teachers that taught them. I guess high school wasn't too bad after all.
But the night of my reunion, one of my favorite musicians ever MISS Lalah Hathaway will be in town for free 99; and I will be front and center to be entranced by her vocal spell. So those fools can kiss it!
